2011: A Year of Change

Well boys and girls, we've had a fun time, haven't we?

2010, come and gone again, as fast as the wind is swift, as fleeting as the dragonfly's wings, as joyful and sorrowful and peaceful as a summer thunderstorm.

I have not changed a whole lot. Which is not to say I haven't tried, or have not the idea of change in mind, but a lesson I have learned is to try and to be are not one in the same, ever.

To change, I have to BE the change, not try to be the change.

This is going to be a year of change.

I haven't told many people this yet, but I'm not coming back as an RA next year, for reasons of my own and for the reasons of others. But that is a conversation to have in person, not something to discuss via web. If anyone sees this and wants to know what's up, call/text me.

I also am working as a wellness assistant in the gym, so I will be exercising close to every day. I will be getting a roommate. I will be getting a job at the brookstone in albany. I will writing every day, reading, acting, directing, and improving.

I will not be tolerating bullshit anymore, or falsities, or anything that seems to diminish or worsen my life. I will be making an effort to call it as it is, and be direct and honest even if it may hurt sometimes, myself or another.

I will not be good at this, not right away. I am my own natural enemy to change.

But I will follow this mantra, as another writer did before. I read this and was inspired. I hope this will be the mantra for my coming year, in everything I do:

I am my own enemy.

Resistance is my nature

I am aware of Resistance

And it prevents me from achieving the life I am meant to have

Resistance is self-generated, self-perpetuated

It Lies and Seduces. Its goal is my Utter Destruction

Every day is a battle for my soul.

This Moment. This Day.

I change my life.

Help me to defeat myself

and realize Fate.

A little schmaltzy? A little too much feel-good, peace loving, hippy dippy kind of mentality?

Maybe. But it's going to help me focus, and going to help me become the person I want to be, and I need to be.

As the writer, Jonathan Hickman says:

Tonight is the night I "stop being a dabbler, and become a creator."

You hear that 2011?

Right then. Let's do this.

Birth Of A Blog! (oh man . . . placental fluid EVERYWHERE!)

Despite the gross addendum to the title, I hope you find it at least a tad humorous. If not, well, nothing I can do about it. 

Huh . . . funny . . . blogs are supposed to be a center for creativity and new ideas, a place where the every day life is observed and recorded, and maybe something useful can come out of it. A place where the jaded cynic has his internet soapbox to stand on and proclaim what he cares about and screw you if you don't want to listen, I'll just shout louder! BLOGS ARE SUPPOSED TO CHANGE THE WORLD!

If so, then how come I can't do anything if you don't laugh at my joke title? Irony you cruel b*tch!

Anywho, angry, forced ranting aside, this is my blog. 

Welcome. Please take a seat on the rug. We may have a couple of fold out chairs in the basement, but please -- you know what? No, sit on the rug. Some people don't have butts, enjoy what you have; now sit. 

I'm glad you've found a nice spot on my art-deco rug that may have a story or two behind it, but now it has stories on top of it. That's right, you are all stories. In your blood runs tales and songs and whispers of things that may mean love or hate or joy, but everyone hears something different. I'm a story too; I'm a story that tells stories. And this blog, I suppose has found it's purpose. 

Some days I will tell you my story. Someday it may be a friends, or an enemies story. And someday it may be one of my stories; who knows what you'll get?

Just sit back, relax, take one of the apple juice cartons we're passing around and let me open my book of tales, and see what we have for today . . . Ah yes . . .

This is a good one . . .