Last night was a night I was prepared for, but had hoped never to come. But like all things that happen in our lives, it came, whether I had willed it or no; and this is a thing I had would never in a thousand, thousand times of the world's revolutions wish on anyone.
My friend called me, sobbing, trying to talk to me through her sadness, and before she even spoke I knew what happened. I knew after she told me. And I stood there and listened as she cried, and it's a moment that defines heartbreak. Because when your friends hurt, you hurt. When your friends cry and anger and worry, you do as well. Friendship is a bond stronger then steel and something woven tighter then DNA. But you know what's stronger, in most cases? Love. Not love of a friend, but somewhere alone the line, love, true honest to goodness love, is somewhere higher on the food chain. And this night, that line was cut for my friend. She whom she loved had decided that the love she gave back to my friend was no longer pure or true or some kind of bullshit as most excuses go.
Now, I don't have a manual on how to handle break-ups, quite the opposite in fact. Because there is no manual telling you how to explain to someone that you no longer love them; it's abnormal how we go from person to person and try and love them, for so temporary a time. Ugh.
I digress. There is no manual. But there is a rule book. Number One Rule: Do not initiate said break-up on the f*cking computer!
I don't care if you don't want to hear that person, or if you want to save goddamn minutes, you freaking call! Because even if the love isn't there, show her some goddamn respect! She deserves at least much . . . Number Two Rule: Don't say you still love them. There are extenuating circumstances on this one, but please spare the break-upee some pain and do not bring love into the equation. It's bad enough that it's happening but to hear it's still happening with love still there?! Not fair, nor cool.
My friend is an amazing, amazing young woman. She, ha . . . funny how the english major can't find the right words here . . .
She smiles whenever she wants to. She has a penchant for random conversation, and odd comments and a musical mind I find genius. She is, I love her to death. We're pretty much brother and sister, just ask the State of New York. She means so much to me. For me to hear her heartbroken, and not being there to hold her and be there for her was the worst feeling. God knows I'll feel worse before I die, but as life has gone, that's up there.
But you know what, person-who-broke-my-best-friends-heart? She's stronger then this, she's going to come out of this smelling of roses and confidence. She's going to take this and rise above, because as much as it hurts now, it will hurt worse if nothing is changed, and strength is not found. And I know you, PWBMBFH, we've hung out. I'll just say, you did not know what you had. You didn't know it and now it's too late.
I realize this has been a long post, sorry internet I'l be better next time. I just needed to cleanse this out of my system. My final thought is this: Relationships are parts love and respect; if a break-up is to happen, both are not to vanish. Thank you.
Much love to Woof, from your buddy Honk
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